Sweet Home Alabama: Melanie returns home

Jake: He's loud, but he don't bite. Come on, shut, hound! Lie down. Go on, stay. Now, how can I help you?
Melanie: Well, for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce. Come on, Jake, I mean it. The joke's over. Let's just finish this. I've got a plane to catch.
Jake: You're shittin' me right?
Melanie: You know, I've never actually understood that expression, but no, i'm not shitting you. Look it's even got these idiot proof tabs to make it easy. There's one copy for me, one copy for you, and one copy for the lawyers. What? Speak!
Jake: You show up here after 7 years without so much as a hey there Jake, remember me, your wife! Hi, honey looking good how's the family?
Melanie: You expect me to tell you that you look good? What did they run out of soap down at the Piggly Wiggly since I left?
Jake: They laugh at that up north or wherever it is you been.
Melanie: You knew where I was and don't even pretend you spent all this time missing me.
Jake: Oh, I missed you alright, but at this range my aim is bound to improve.
Melanie: Is that a threat? I got a lawyer that charges $350 an hour. He billed me everytime you sent these papers back.
Jake: Glad to see you finally got the message.
(At the same time) Melanie:Shut up, Bear! Jake: Shut up, Bryant!
Melanie: What happened to bear?
Jake: He died. you weren't here.(walks away)
Melanie: What are you doin?
Jake: Leavin'. You done it. You should recognize the gesture.
Melanie: Could we try to keep this as civilized as possible? Please sign the papers so I can go home.
Jake: What do you know from home? Hell, I bet your folks don't even know you're in town.
Melanie: That's my business!
Jake: Honey, those people are the only family you got.
Melanie: Don't you honey me honey.
Jake: Get your butt back in that car, you drive over and see 'em and then maybe we'll talk.
Melanie: Jake, you dumb stubborn redneck hick! The only reason you won't sign these papers is cause I want you to!
Jake: Wrong the only reason I ain't signin is cause you turned into some hoity-tooity yankee witch.. and I'd like nothing better right now than to piss you off!
Melanie: What are you doin with Mose Plydell's plane anyhow?
Jake: That's my business!
Melanie:Fine!
Jake: Fine! ( walks into the kitchen)Divorce my ass.
(walks back into the living room to find the door open)
Melanie: Hey genius, next you lock somebody out, make sure they don't know where the spare key is hidden.
Jake: See that's the thing about hide-a-keys, it's be nice if your wife told you where it was!
Melanie: I'm not your wife, Jake. I'm just..I'm just the first girl that climbed in the back of your truck. But you're right i have changed, I don't even know that girl anymore.
Jake: Well, then allow me to remind you.